Ask Smalls Anything returns with Episode 19, a perfectly normal sports podcast featuring Chicago Bears predictions, NFL grief, circumcision, nepo babies and a gorilla playing checkers against 100 caribou.
Stephie Smalls and Producer Ryan McKee begin by examining the internet’s favorite new pastime: insulting strangers, then acting shocked when they respond. Apparently, replying to “this page sucks” now means someone is emotionally devastated rather than simply bored and holding a phone.
The football portion centers on the Chicago Bears, Caleb Williams and the loaded NFC North. Stephie believes the Bears have enough talent to keep progressing under Ben Johnson, while Ryan wonders which pass-catcher benefits most after DJ Moore’s departure. The episode also explores the Packers, Lions, Vikings and whether Kyler Murray can thrive in Minnesota.
When asked for AFC and NFC Championship predictions, Ryan lands on a Los Angeles Rams versus Buffalo Bills matchup. Stephie sees the Rams as a major NFC threat but refuses to dismiss the Seattle Seahawks, Detroit Lions or an especially chaotic NFC East. The Cincinnati Bengals also receive a warning: eventually, “Joe Burrow will save everything” stops qualifying as a defensive strategy.
The listener questions then wander gloriously off-road. Stephie explains the five stages of grief during a New York Giants game, including anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance arriving together like the world’s saddest Uber Pool. The pair discuss circumcision preferences, embarrassing guilty pleasures, Kesha, Halsey, reality television and whether Ryan should attend a Kesha concert alone as a single man in his 40s.
Finally, the show tackles its most intellectually demanding matchup: one gorilla versus 100 caribou in checkers. No betting line was provided, presumably because sportsbooks still possess a little dignity.
This is sports analysis after it has been left completely unsupervised.
Listen to Ask Smalls Anything and submit questions at SpeakPipe.com/StephieSmalls.
