Week 1 is over, which means we have exactly enough football evidence to make several extremely confident conclusions that will probably embarrass us by Sunday afternoon.
Perfect. Football is back.
CJ Sullivan of Bottom Line Bombs joined The Stephie Smalls Show for an after-hours Week 2 betting session that started with Bills-Lions on Thursday Night Football and eventually wandered into player props, Cowboys slander, Aaron Rodgers interceptions and the sacred art of betting longest receptions.
Buffalo and Detroit provided plenty to work with. Dalton Kincaid looked alive again, Josh Allen remains Josh Allen, and CJ is ready to keep betting Bills home-game Dawson Knox nonsense until somebody physically stops him. On the Detroit side, Jahmyr Gibbs, Jameson Williams and Amon-Ra St. Brown all made appearances in a game that has “everyone scores 40” energy.
From there, things got appropriately irresponsible.
Carson Wentz passing yards? Discussed. Jordan Addison longest reception? Absolutely. Tetairoa McMillan against Atlanta? Smalls is interested. George Pickens downfield against Washington? Also on the menu.
Then came the important stuff.
The Giants beat the Cowboys.
Smalls handled this development with the calm dignity and restraint everyone expected, meaning none whatsoever.
CJ was happy to assist as they examined Dallas’ defense, Washington’s chances of making Cowboys fans even more miserable, and the truly beautiful possibility of Dallas starting the season 0-2 inside the division.
They also found time for an Aaron Rodgers interception bet, a De’Von Achane prop against San Francisco and some extremely practical fantasy advice: if you have a healthy Bills or Lions player Thursday night, maybe stop asking strangers on the internet whether you should start him.
Week 2 has arrived.
The responsible thing would be to calmly evaluate the new information.
That is not what happened.
