These are trying times we are living in. And I don’t mean just because I’M STUCK HOME WITH MY KIDS OFF SCHOOL FOR AT LEAST THREE WEEKS AND I’M GOING TO LOSE MY MIND!!!!!!!!!!!! The COVID-19 outbreak has proven to be serious stuff, and we all need to be diligent to protect the vulnerable in our society. And, unfortunately, this means no more sports (as well as me being STUCK HOME WITH MY KIDS OFF SCHOOL FOR AT LEAST THREE WEEKS AND I’M GOING TO LOSE MY MIND!!).
Ok, breathe Jeff, breathe. This article isn’t about you, it’s about all the poor, deprived #degens out there. What the hell are we supposed to do with 1) no sports to watch and, most importantly, 2) NO SPORTS TO GAMBLE ON?! That’s where you’re wrong – there are still a few sports left to gamble on – you just need to know where to look. Which is where this column comes in.
First off, here’s the list of all the major sports/sporting events cancelled – but be warned: it’s a bloodbath.
NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament (aka March Madness)
MLB (the odds on favorite to return first – yes you can bet on that)
ATP & WTA
Most Major Soccer Leagues
Most MMA (including next three UFC events)
While some of these leagues have set dates on when they will come back (some in a few weeks), it’s pretty much unrealistic and impossible to guess at this point. Japan shut down their sporting events weeks before North America did, and they remain dark. The rumor floating around is the NBA is aiming for a mid-to-late June restart date, so expect no sporting events until then, at the earliest. New Jersey alone is expected to lose half a billion dollars in sports bets due to the shutdown.
But some leagues and sports have remained steadfast (bullheaded?) in the face of this global pandemic. While we can question the wisdom in pushing on despite the detrimental health issues it may cause on its participants, and society in large, who are we to judge? We’re here to gamble, not question morals.
So here’s what’s left to gamble on at MyBookie at this point (but by the time these words have been typed it could all have changed again).
When it comes to bullheadedness, they don’t come much more bullheaded than UFC president Dana White. Which was good news for sick #degens itching for a fix.
They put on an event last weekend in Brasilia, Brazil in an empty arena, and still planned on going ahead with UFC Fight Night: Woodley vs Edwards this Saturday in the O2 Arena in London, England before the UK travel ban put an end to that. But White still planned on holding the event somewhere – anywhere – global pandemic be damned. This despite half of the main event (Leon Edwards) ruled out because of the travel ban, as well as most other fights on the card. They finally gave in a few minutes ago and postponed their next three events.
However, some fights (two so far) have been moved to the UK promotion Cage Warriors event being held Friday night. This was originally scheduled to take place in London – it has since been moved to Manchester and will be held behind closed doors.
There are still two top-tier footie leagues running that you can put some dough on – Brazil’s Campeonato Amazonense and Turkey’s Super League (aka SuperLig). And they’re letting actual real, live fans in the stands. Both countries have been mostly spared of the virus thus far (203 cases in 209 million people in Brazil; 18 in 81 million people in Turkey) – hopefully this doesn’t add to those numbers.
Is politics a sport? Who cares – you can gamble on it regardless, and that’s all we’re looking for right now. My Bookie had odds for last night’s Democratic Debate, and they have futures on who will win each parties nomination, who’ll win the election, etc.
NBA 2K Simulation
Maybe the worst part of the sports shutdown is no March Madness this year, as, outside of the Super Bowl, it’s the biggest holiday on the #degen calendar of the year. But fret not – The Awesemo is running a $15,000 NBA 2K Simulation Bracket Contest. They’ll be simulating NBA 2K matchups between some of the best teams in NBA history, and paying out prizes to whoever predicts the outcomes correctly.
Marble racing? Yes, marble racing. Get your bets in, to avoid losing your marbles (like that pun?!).
Think you’ve got Mother Nature all figured out? Perhaps you’re part groundhog (I’m not judging). Then bet on the weather, like this guy:
When I was a boy, we used to play video games. Kids nowadays watch people play video games. And adults gamble on people playing video games. Here’s a primer.
Stay safe out there, #degens