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Colby’s Corner: NBA Lottery

nba-draft-lottery

Written By: Colby Dant (@TheColbyD)

NBA Draft Lottery

Tonight is the NBA Draft Lottery. Perhaps the stupidest thing in all professional sports. Hey here’s a idea “lets not give balance to the worst teams in the league and let them be terrible for ever.” Yeah, I’m one of those conspiracy theorist when it comes to the National Basketball Association.

Maybe its because I grew up with the Washington Bullets as the hometown team and for about 12 straight seasons they were the worst or one of the worst teams every year and never got the top pick. They were awful for years. In fact I’m pretty sure the 1994 Washington Bullets were the last team to start 5 white guys in a regular season game. (Scott Skiles, Rex Chapman, Don MacLean, Tom Gugliotta & Jim McIlvaine).

Hoosiers

Perhaps the GM watched the movie “Hoosiers” and said “Fuck it, let’s try a team of white guys it worked for them”. Yep they were awful alright and yet somehow like most of those 12 years the Bullets ended up with the 6th pick in the draft due to the NBA’s bullshit draft lottery. I find it just too ironic that The Washington Bullets who were known as a rather cheap organization never got anywhere close to the top pick those years and yet the minute Michael Jordan becomes involved with the organization they land the top pick.

MJ showing his amazing skills for player personnel kept up with the rather amazing Washington Bullet tradition and drafted the amazing bust that is Kwame Brown. My point though is that how did they never land the top pick in all those years of complete shittyness. But the moment David Sterns boy toy (Jordan) becomes involved with the organization they somehow land the top pick.

Closed Door Draft Lottery

It’s all nonsense! A draft lottery, one that is done behind close doors I should mention. It just reeks of a dirty ass system. I mean why would the draft lottery be done behind closed doors? Then again why even have a draft lottery at all (to keep the major markets good?). I won’t even bring up the Patrick Ewing to the Knicks or Shaquille O’Neal to Orlando years (look them up if you think I’m full of it.)

The NBA has always been a joke when it came to integrity. I’m sure everyone reading this watched Russell Westbrook take 34 steps last night at the end of game 1 as the Thunder upset the Warriors. It’s a common occurrence in the NBA. They haven’t called traveling since 1986, ironically the year Ewing (known for traveling) entered the league. So tonight before you get frustrated that your team didn’t get the pick they deserved to have, just stop and realize that this stuff has nonsense has already been planned out.

That’s it for me this week. Enjoy your adult beverages in a safe manner and remember when ordering your ecstasy online remember stay away from China unless they’re first time users. Weak product just ask Reche Caldwell.

Colby Dant is a stand up comedian and The Sports Gambling Podcast's official college football and basketball expert. Unfortunately he's also a huge Jets fan.

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