Ask Smalls Anything is back, which means football questions once again share oxygen with topics no respectable NFL program would touch.
This week, Smalls and Ryan get into Ravens fans who still can’t quit arguing about John Harbaugh and Lamar Jackson, whether the NFL really needs an international team, and Ryan’s rapidly spiraling attempt to start a fantasy football league with comedians. He invited 22 people expecting maybe 10 to care. Fifteen immediately wanted in. Turns out comedians have plenty of free time.
Things become significantly less professional from there.
A listener asks whether Jaxson Dart or Cam Skattebo is more likely to get caught leaving a club at 2 a.m. before a Giants game, prompting Smalls to defend their “swag” and deliver a simple campaign platform: make the Giants violent again.
There’s also love bombing, New York City rats, horrible short-distance flights and a surprisingly serious ranking of movie-theater snacks. Most importantly, Smalls reveals that she brings a tiny spray bottle of butter into the theater so she can re-butter her popcorn as she reaches new layers. This is innovation. Possibly a cry for help. Definitely commitment.
Plus, what would Smalls tell herself 10 years ago?
Get the nose job sooner. Obviously.
