Hi, Smalls here, your favorite unlicensed therapist for bad sports betting decisions. I just spent an hour talking Raiders futures with Vegas Matty, and let me tell you, I’m now emotionally invested in Max Crosby’s Defensive Player of the Year odds like he’s my own child. The Raiders win total is sitting at 6.5, which is such a rude number—it’s basically Vegas whispering, “Do you like pain? Bet the over.”
Pete Carroll has rolled into town chewing gum like he’s about to coach a middle school talent show instead of the Las Vegas Raiders. And somehow, I’m buying it. Geno Smith is the new QB1, and I’ve convinced myself that’s an upgrade even though he’s probably just as likely to throw 17 touchdowns as he is to launch a ball directly into a concession stand. But hey, Brock Bowers is there now, Ashton Gentry is ready to be Fantasy Twitter’s new boyfriend, and I’m already preparing my “told you so” victory lap when they’re both top-15 fantasy players by Week 6.
Then I had comedian Josh Sneed on, and the man almost made me forget about betting entirely. He talked about Bengals football, his comedy special Fat Ryan, and the time the Masters rained on his parade (literally). Bengals fans are like the drunk cousins of the NFL—loud, hopeful, and eternally heartbroken—and I respect that.
If you want more terrible betting takes, hot NFL futures action, or just me yelling about how the Steelers are basically the Giants with better PR, you know where to find me.
