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Colby’s Corner: Las Vegas Raiders

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Written By: Colby Dant (@TheColbyD)

Las Vegas Raiders

Lets face facts. When it comes to planet earth we normally always get it wrong. Whatever the topic is we, as in humanity always find a way to fuck it up. It’s no different when it comes to the sports world. The renaming of the Washington Bullets, The retirement of Bruce Bowen’s San Antonio Spurs Number, Chris Collinsworth play by play, I could continue rambling on for days about the terrible things we have done in the sports world.

In fact, its such a common occurrence it has left me dreaming of a parallel universe out there. One without a “No Charge Zone” or “Defensive Holding” . You know a place where everything makes complete sense. But wait. Could there be hope on planet earth could we actually get something right for once? The Oakland Raiders, No the Los Angeles Raiders, no wait the Oakland Raiders?, no wait Portland?, L.A. Again?, San Antonio?, wait LAS VEGAS?

Vegas And Raiders Fans, The Perfect Match

Holy shit. I’m not even a Raiders fan but this idea is perfect. it’s meant to be like a Golden Corral in a Wal Mart parking lot in Arkansas. Can the NFL actually get it right? That remains to be seen but wow, I can’t think of a city that represents everything Raider football has ever represented. From Al Davis to Lyle Alzado to NWA this is what the Raiders were supposed to be, Sin City’s football team. Not only is it perfect based on the background of the Raiders, it makes sense financially.

Las Vegas is a much bigger city than the likes of Jacksonville? You gave them a football team but not Las Vegas? Oh thats right, because of gambling or whatever and the NFL has never been okay with the likes of gambling? Come on this isn’t a Brett Farve retirement speech here. Don’t spit at my ass and tell me it’s raining. The NFL is where it is today because the likes of gambling. Yes I consider fantasy football gambling like some of those douchebag congressmen trying to outlaw it.

Everyone Gambles Already

The fact is, everyone gambles in America and majority of the people gamble on Football so its time for the NFL to gamble on Las Vegas. No not with an expansion team but with the Raiders. Think about it, what would you rather see the blue man group at Bellagio or Sebastian Janikowski attempt another 75 yard field goal (youtube it, it happened) The best show in town would easily be the Raiders. They’ve had more coaches in the past 20 years than Vegas has had strip clubs.

I mean what a show. Perhaps the NFL is worried about fans in Vegas since their has never been a sports team there. It shouldn’t be worried though because former LA Die Hards and Oakland Die Hards would make the drive to Vegas eight times a year to see their beloved team play. Plus, the visiting team effect. You think Minnesota Vikings fans wouldn’t jump at the idea of going to Vegas for the weekend to get absolutely shit hammered all week and then watch their beloved purple and gold take on the Raiders just before they fly back to work on Monday.

In fact if theres any argument against the Raiders in Vegas in should come from the airline stewardesses because the red eye’s out of Vegas sunday nights are truly going to be a shit show of magnificent proportions. Seriously though come on universe get it right. The Raiders need Las Vegas like Josh Gordon needs a medical card. So come on NFL do something right for once. Then again the world never gets it right watch the Raiders end up in Salt Lake City or some shit.

Big 12 Expansion

Speaking of not getting it right the Big 12 conference which is consisted of 10 universities is talking conference expansion. Great idea! Lets add two more teams so we can match the number of our conference name. It make complete sense to add two teams. However the thought of adding three and deleting one should be discussed I mean what the hell is West Virginia University doing in a conference that pretty much is centered around the south west of this country (6 schools in Oklahoma & Texas).

It’s probably the stupidest thing in college sports, (Rutgers and Maryland in the Big 10 is close 2nd). The front runners towards joining the conference are BYU & Houston but they have also been talks about UCONN, South Florida, Colorado State, Memphis and Central Florida. Here’s an idea Big 12 how about you stick to your region and bring in Boise State, Houston or Colorado State.

Yeah I’m against BYU joining the big 12, I think they should remain an Independent since the best part of college is having sex with strangers and they continue to be against any sex at all. So let those mormons be out there all alone as Independent just like one of their cults. But if in intact it comes down to BYU or any of the east coast or down south schools than by all means take the Mormons.

I got to admit I’m pulling for Colorado State and Boise State but thats only because the Mountain West has already been destroyed and the American is a new conference that has had decent success of late (Houston & Memphis last year). Yes, I know they are spread all over the map but at least they are called The American and it’s not their fault that all the power conferences raided everything else. Dare I mention UNLV? Sure their football team blows but its a big city and the potential is there and but that I mean MONEY. So come on universe maybe this once we can get it right?

Colby Dant is a stand up comedian and The Sports Gambling Podcast’s official college football and basketball expert. Unfortunately he’s also a huge Jets fan.

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